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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22469230">Gotta find your own way</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan'>NatalieRyan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Comfort fics for Lunedd x [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Confessions, Cuddling, Emotional Conversations, Getting Together, Hopeful Ending, Kissing, M/M, Making Up, Soft Boys, Tarlos - Freeform, hopeful boys</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:33:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,597</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22469230</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Taking a deep breath, Carlos went to open the door.<br/>Standing there, was the last person Carlos thought he'd ever see at his apartment again.<br/>TK Strand.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)/TK Strand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Comfort fics for Lunedd x [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626655</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>296</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Gotta find your own way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunedd/gifts">Lunedd</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hiiii! My first fic in 2020 is here. Totally unexpected and definitely not planned.<br/>Couple of days ago my soul sister mentioned 911 Lonestar to me and how cute TK and Carlos were, and I was sure, I'm gonna watch it. And then she sent me some gifs last night, where they were so soft and cute I couldn't help but say, to hell with everything else, I'm gonna watch it now. Three episodes later I crave more of this new tv show, and I want to see more of Tarlos and I'm hopelessly addicted to these two.<br/>Thank you, my babe. This is a gift for you.<br/>Title from "How did you love?" by Shinedown.<br/>Beta by dixons_mama.<br/>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Carlos closed the door to his apartment and he could feel the wave of exhaustion attack him again. It was a grueling night shift: a burglary, a bar fight (not TK again, thank God), and a hostage situation that involved a good portion of Austin PD at the scene that ended with the suicide of the hostage taker.</p><p>Carlos' bed was whispering his name, and he planned on responding to that call, when there was a knock on the door.</p><p>At first, Carlos thought it was just his mind playing tricks with him, the aftermath of a shit work day, but after the second round of knocking, Carlos realized it was real.</p><p>Someone was at the door, and judging by the third set of knocks, Carlos doubted that whoever was at the door would just give up and leave.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Carlos went to open the door.</p><p>Standing there, was the last person Carlos thought he'd ever see at his apartment again.</p><p>TK Strand.</p><p>…</p><p>TK looked worse for wear; his face was pale, his eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were covered in stubble. He exuded fatigue, but he held firmly onto the wall, looking as though he'd fall if he let go.</p><p>Carlos knew that he should not let TK inside, because he might end up doing something stupid, like kiss TK or put his hands all over TK's body. He still hadn't forgotten how TK's skin felt underneath his fingertips, all the little sighs and moans that drove Carlos mad with want.</p><p>Carlos had a raw need flaring inside his chest. He wanted TK, but it was clear TK didn't want him.</p><p>Carlos was confused, and apparently it took him longer than anticipated to react, because the next thing he noticed was TK frantically backing away from Carlos' apartment.</p><p>Realizing that he couldn't let TK leave without at least a reason for his visit, Carlos reached up and curled his fingers around TK's left elbow.</p><p>TK turned around, and a breath caught in Carlos' chest. He couldn't help but look at TK, stare into his beautiful green eyes, the morning's sun reflecting in them.</p><p>Carlos ached when he saw the forlorn look in TK's eyes. He looked like his world was crumbling down, and didn't want anyone to witness it, but he turned to the only person that he needed at that moment.</p><p>Carlos only hoped he could be that person for TK. His safe space.</p><p>"Come on in, TK."</p><p>TK broke out of his stupor and followed Carlos into the apartment on autopilot.</p><p>…</p><p>They spent the better part of an hour in silence, which wasn't uncomfortable, but it was tense somehow. Like the calm before the storm.</p><p>Carlos decided that despite everything, he'd give TK time. As much as he needed. It was true, what he'd said to Michelle. He didn't want to be the one to be doing the chasing, but there was something about TK that wanted him to try. And right about then TK appeared on his doorstep. </p><p>Carlos was brought back to the present when TK cleared his throat.</p><p>"I'm sorry I came unannounced. You must be wondering why… I'd like us to talk, if you don't mind. I think that we did all of this backwards. This dating or whatever it was. <em>Is</em>. Shit, I am so bad at this." TK snorted and scrunched up his face in a grimace that Carlos shouldn't have found that adorable.</p><p>"I'd like that very much TK. I want to get to know you. Even if this thing doesn't work out, I'm willing to try. To get to know you, I mean. It's okay to talk."</p><p>TK smiled and Carlos returned the gesture. After giving TK's hand a squeeze, Carlos let him speak.</p><p>"I realize that there are things I should have mentioned before… before we got into all of this, and for that, I'm sorry. I made things awkward between us, and I shouldn't have. I believe that if I was honest with you, perhaps there could be a different outcome. But, you should know what happened that night, the overdose, it was just a relapse. I haven't used in years. I'm clean."</p><p>Carlos squeezed TK's hand once again and then left his hand on top of TK's for comfort while TK talked. Carlos knew better than to interrupt him.</p><p>"That night, I was ready to propose. We'd been in a relationship for almost 2 years, and I wanted that night to be special, you know? Romantic, with a flute of champagne, dinner, the ring carefully hidden. It turned into a disaster, though. He… he told me that he was seeing someone else. He said he'd planned to break the news to me soon, felt badly for lying to me and stringing me along.</p><p>"I was hurt. Still am, to be honest. I think that I felt like someone stabbed me in the heart at that moment. Sliced me open and kept tearing off chunks of meat to prolong my suffering, and make me hurt harder than ever. It worked. I was so fucked up.</p><p>"I kept thinking was it my fault? Did I do something that drew him away from me? I mean, how did he fall out of love with me so easily, right?"</p><p>A lone tear trickled down TK's cheek and Carlos reached to wipe it off. He gently caressed TK's cheek and smiled. He wanted to go and find whoever this guy was that broke TK's heart and rip his out.</p><p>Carlos blinked. That was a surprisingly strong reaction for someone like Carlos to feel for a guy he'd just met couple of weeks ago. They'd only had sex a handful of times, for crying out loud. Yet, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to Carlos. TK was like a tidal wave. He came into Carlos' life and swept him away.</p><p>...</p><p>"I wish I'd met you two years ago, TK. Then you wouldn't have had to worry about heartbreak and what your future boyfriend would think of you."</p><p>"You are awfully confident, Officer Reyes."</p><p>"Yeah, when someone isn't busting my balls, that is."</p><p>TK chuckled and wiped at his eyes. Carlos placed his hand back on TK's cheek, and he leaned into the grounding touch.</p><p>"That night, when you invited me over, when I saw the setting, the dinner, everything was great. It was more than great. No one had ever done that for me. I mean it, Carlos, <em>no one</em>. I freaked out. I panicked and I blew it.</p><p>"It's just… it reminded me of… I didn't want to feel like that again. So, I left. I'm sorry. So sorry."</p><p>"You don't need to be sorry. I didn't know, I just made an estimated guess and thought you'd like the gesture. Turns out that I triggered that night by mentioning proposals, and I'm sorry."</p><p>TK nodded. He didn't think he could muster up anything else at that moment. He was exhausted, and all he wanted was to curl up in bed and sleep it off. He hadn't had a decent night's sleep since the night he'd left Carlos' apartment, after hurting this amazing man that was nothing but good for him.</p><p>He couldn't fully trust him, yet, but somehow TK knew that Carlos wouldn't hurt him.</p><p>"Listen, I've been thinking it through, all of this, ever since the night of the bar fight. Your words keep playing in my head. I… what I'm trying to say is, I am willing to try to… I want us. I want you to be my boyfriend. That was the whole problem with the dinner. I want you to be my boyfriend. I didn't want to get in a relationship so soon after my heart had been handed to me, but I like you, Carlos. And I want to try."</p><p>"I've never felt this connection with anyone before, TK. I'm willing to try, too. I want to be your boyfriend."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"I should warn you that it's been barely three months since Alex broke up with me, and I might lash out. I'm still not in the right place, but I'm working on it. I want to succeed. I want this thing between us to work."</p><p>"Me too. I promise, we'll take it as slow as you want, as you <em>need</em>. I am here, TK. I like you. You have me, too. You are not alone."</p><p>TK couldn't hold on any longer. He crashed his lips against Carlos' in a feverish kiss that spoke of something more than what they have experienced so far. It was a mix of passion, and promises.</p><p>…</p><p>Carlos cuddled close to a sleep-warm TK that afternoon. After their heartfelt conversation and exchange of sweet little kisses, Carlos led TK to his bedroom where they hugged close, Carlos being the big spoon, feeling like TK might need just that. He slid his hand underneath TK's shirt, and wrapped his hands around TK's waist. He drew calming circles on the smooth skin until he felt TK sag in his embrace. Carlos continued his ministrations long after TK fell asleep, finding comfort in the patterns his hands created on TK's skin. It was pure bliss and relief, after so much wondering and asking himself if he'd done something to push TK away.</p><p>Now, he felt content with this beautiful guy in his arms, sleep-soft, making the most adorable snuffing sounds and instinctively cuddling closer to Carlos. Carlos tightened his grip around TK and fell asleep, keeping in mind to call in for a day off.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thoughts?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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